10th Doctor: Interesting. A sort Absorbatrix? Absorbaclon? Absorbaloff?
Doctor Who Love & Monsters 2006
Yesterday there was joy in Baltimore and the cause of justice as six police officers were charged with crimes ranging from 2nd degree murder to manslaughter in the death of a person in custody.
But there was an even greater triumph for the cause of equality as it was revealed that 50% of the officers arrested were black and 16% were women demonstrating that at least in the case of police negligence (I say negligence because the charges involve inaction of not securing or aiding their prisoner rather than action such as beating him) blacks and women have apparently reached parity with white officers in the left’s meme of oppression of people of color.
However this development has not been met with joy but with concerning from Joan Walsh of Salon:
— Joan Walsh (@joanwalsh) May 2, 2015
I must confess being a mere conservative the idea that Blacks and women by the regular association with white men might “absorb” their evil racial attitudes of them never occurred to me.
But this should not be a surprise as this has been seen before in the third world as places like Africa & India took on some of the traits of those who colonized them (such as christianity) that still result in oppression today.
This is a serious problem and even more terrifying if you consider that police officers go through rigorous training, both physical and mental in order to do their job properly.
If such highly trained people are subject to such absorption how much more vulnerable would school children of any age, workers or even the average homeowner in a neighborhood be to this syndrome? After all the phrase “acting white” didn’t come out of thin air!
Well we as a just and liberal society must do all we can to stop this in its tracks. .
The first step of course is to classify this social disease. How can we stop it if we don’t know what it is. As we can trace and document this absorption of “white attitudes” to the days of colonization the logical name is
Contagious Oppression Of The Indigenous Entities Syndrome
or “Cooties” for short.
This must be immediately recognized by any and all medical and psychological organizations nationwide. Any such organization or that would deny the existence of “COOTIES” should be defunded and any such individual denied a degree or certification in any medical or psychological field.
Having named this social disease and recognized it. The next step is the necessary federal grants to institutions of higher learning to study and combat this syndrome.
I would suspect the lions share of such grants would need to go to racial and gender studies programs as they are the most sensitive to even the slightest signs of oppression by white males.
And of course community groups should not be ignored, ACORN and other organizations should be fully funded by the government to make sure activists on the street are trained to recognize “COOTIES” wherever they may be.
This will of course require higher taxes, particularly on corporations but isn’t it worth it to stop the dreaded scourge of “COOTIES”?
While the full funding of ongoing research is a positive step it is not enough. We need to stop COOTIES in its tracks. So until there is a cure for COOTIES there is only one thing to do.
It is necessary to separate those vulnerable to COOTIES from those who carry the disease. Therefore in order to protect people of color it will be necessary to educate such people in an environment completely free of White Males, from preschool days to the end of higher education.
And given this solution it we might take the opportunity to nip the entire “rape culture” business in the bud by educating young women in a safe space completely free from males of all colors. This will minimize the potential for any trace of COOTIES to reach them.
All of this will of course require even more government spending but it’s a small price to pay to make sure the most vulnerable of us are not exposed to COOTIES.
As for the protection of general public. Until generations can be carefully taught to avoid White Males and the COOTIES they carry it’s clear that laws will simply have to be passed to protect the vulnerable public from this scourge.
Eventually, with government funding, alternatives in business, transportation and housing will exist. This is the ideal as it will mean people shopping, traveling, buying a house or going out to eat will never in their lifetime be exposed to those carrying COOTIES.
Until that can be achieved laws will have to be passed to protect the public NOW! We must as a compassionate and diverse society ensure that a person going to a store, traveling on a bus, buying a house or even sitting at a lunch counter will have minimal exposure, if any, to white male carries of COOTIES and severe penalties must be imposed on any who might break these barriers and risk the spread of this dread syndrome to our loved ones.
I would like to thank Joan Walsh and the entire Salon staff for highlighting the problem of Contagious Oppression Of The Indigenous Entities Syndrome and remind you that if you oppose any of these sensible solutions to stop it, not only are you a racist, bigot, sexist, homophobe, transaphobe hater but are clearly a carrier of COOTIES who must be removed from the general population at once!
It’s for the children.
Update: moved a classification
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