The 1st Amendment (Woke Liberal Translation)

“When I use a word,” Humpty Dumpty said in rather a scornful tone, “it means just what I choose it to mean – neither more nor less.”

Lewis Carol Through the Looking Glass

All animals are equal but some are more equal than others

George Orwell Animal Farm

One of the most difficult things about being 54 or older is the confusion that comes from having been raised with the concept that words actually mean what they say as opposed to either our liberal “betters” in media and culture or college students who somehow in their 18-21 years have managed to become wiser than the collective wisdom of all of human society that came before them.

For example while a person of my age and education thinks the first amendment says and means this.

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

Other people read it quite differently

Supporters of the NFL players protest believes the first amendment actually says this:

The National Football League shall make no rule abridging the freedom of speech during the work day of the players excepting celebration after the conclusion of a play particularly in the end zone after a scoring play.

Campus leftists believes it actually says this

College administrators shall make no rule abridging the freedom of speech and action of any protester on campus, excepting actions by groups or individuals defined by said protesters as unacceptable or “triggering”

While the LGBT community believes it says this:

The government shall make no rule establishing the free exercise thereof of any religion or business owned by a practitioner of same to practice or publicly state beliefs that in in any way that contradicts the agenda of the LGBT community, nor shall abridge the freedom of the LGBT community or their supporters to restrict the freedom of speech of any individual who is unwilling to support the gender definitions and agenda thereof.

The real problem is, other than the fact that all of these new permutations contradict the actual words written in the Constitution, is that these definitions and other constitutional contortions often overlap which makes actually expressing what the 1st Amendment means to the left a difficult chore when trying to express what words and actions it allows and what it does not, particularly for those of us who still believe words should mean what they say.

So in the interest of both brevity and understanding what the left means when they talk about “freedom of speech” here is the first Amendment as defined by the left.

I have the right to speak or act as I wish without any consequence, those who disagree with me do not.

That is the left in a nutshell and that is the reason why they must be fought.


Normally you would see my tip jar pitch here and while I would encourage to at all times to hit said jar I’d like to pitch the GoFundme campaign of old friend conservative journalist Warner Todd Huston or rather his son whose campaign to raise money to replace his father’s car that was torched by “parties unknown” is, as of this writing,  still six grand short

Of course if you want to do that and still hit DaTipJar




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